The Phoenix In The Night 

By Hannah Gautreaux

Hannah Gautreaux is a Business major as a senior at VWU. She will be graduating in May of 2026. She has always found an outlet in writing and exploring the never ending possibilities with what stories can bring. 

I went for a walk on the beach, and I saw a phoenix rise from the ashes in front of me. It reminded me of a girl I once knew; she was optimistic of the world around her. She told flowers how much she loved them everyday and insisted they were her superpower. She said her love helped them grow. One time, we were driving, Dad was in the driver’s seat, and we passed by a field of sunflowers, “LOOK LOOK!” she shouted, “There's a field of flowers, Dad! Please, please, please, can you stop?” Dad just laughed and instantly pulled the car over to stop. She got out of the car with no hesitation, and took off into the field of flowers. Not a worry in the world could stop her. She looked to the sky, laughing with excitement that could bring a smile to even the saddest of people. She was magnetic like that; she’d make a way for anyone to smile in the darkest of times. She brought extraordinary to the ordinary. Her grandma always used to tell her she was a free spirit, that she wasn’t afraid to shine bright.

We would sit together to stargaze and find dragons flying in the sky, connecting the dots of stars like the universe laid a perfect map out for us, creating its own story. We would wish on the stars and believe they would answer us. She didn’t just live; she embodied what it meant to be alive. She made everyone around her feel special and feel they had a purpose in life. When she was in elementary school, there was a girl she noticed who was alone. Whenever they went outside for recess, she observed how this girl would stay in by herself. One time, she asked the teacher if she could stay inside with her and she asked this little girl, “Is it okay if I play inside with you?” The girl beamed with joy and said, “I can’t go outside because I’m allergic to the grass. I didn’t think anyone noticed me staying inside.” From then on, she stayed inside every day, despite her love for the outdoors to be with her newfound friend. They grew up to be the best of friends. 

This girl was older now, and though life could be hard, she never lost the magic that ignited her soul. She used to always say, “The darkness covers the sky every night, yet we have faith the sun will rise. If the sun rises, so will I.” Everything she was has impacted who I am today. Even when everything changed. Everyone has that moment in life. A thing that happens so suddenly. It snaps you into reality so hard it feels like someone slapped you upside the head. It changes who you are. This girl who laughed in fields of flowers was who I was before the accident. Now, I don’t know who I am. 

A little under six months ago, I witnessed a tragic event. I saw a life taken right before me. There was no magic, no fairy tale, and no positive thinking that could save him in that moment. The stars wouldn’t bring him back, and no amount of optimism in the world would replace the hole that was left that day. You’d think the light that was so prominent in your life would get you through hard times. But sometimes it’s not enough. I keep replaying the event in my mind,  wondering if there's something I could’ve done. But there wasn’t. Even if there was, it would have been too late. They say time can heal all wounds and I keep waiting for the moment that becomes true. To find that girl again, who believed in the magic of life. I think when you go through a tragedy, you find it hard to figure out who you were before. You have to navigate through the darkness to try and find the light again. Some days, I feel like I’m floating around like a ghost, watching as life is passing by. People laugh around me and go through their days with ease, feeling joy in their day-to-day lives. I long to not have the heavy weight of life on my chest. To be able to laugh carelessly, not wondering when the next bad thing will happen to me. How can life continue? How are people able to go about their day? I feel as though I’m stuck in a never-ending loop. I’ll ask the question, “Why me?” “It’s not fair,” is the phrase that replays in my head. How could such terrible things happen to people? Questions flood my brain and sometimes I falter under the pressure and can’t seem to breathe. I look at old photos of the girl I was before, wondering if I’ll ever meet her again. 

However, walking on the beach tonight with the waves crashing on the shore, I saw a glimpse of her. I looked up at the sky and saw flames out of the corner of my eye. A phoenix that was flying high above. Her wings were spread wide. She was a warrior in the night. A free spirit. Watching her, I was mesmerized. It made me realize, maybe the girl I used to be isn’t gone. Just maybe, she was waiting to rise. Stronger than ever before. While I may not be the exact same as I was, that’s not how life is meant to be. Bad things will happen. But you must always rise. I whispered to myself, “If the sun rises, so will I.” I felt a tiny sparkle of joy fall on me like a fire igniting inside my soul. As the phoenix flew away in the night, I could’ve sworn the stars said, “You’ll be alright.”